Vampires; The Most Boring Thing Ever

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Well; Why Are Vampires The Most Boring Thing Ever?

{Next to bloggers that is.}

V

Well let me tell you. There are now vampires for every occasion and every demographic.

The age old associations of sex and violence take their most “romantic” turn with this sexy notion of someone giving you a lasting infectious infliction via seduction.  It doesn’t get any better than that!

I say this after seeing a car commercial having a vampire at the end.  I thought: time to drive a wooden stake trough my own heart.  This tired Vampire fantasy keeps sowing on new threads to attempt to seem original.  I feel for those who actually think the are vampires or like to pretend to be.  Whatever happened to real life?

Now we have vampire baby sitters, vampire nannies, vampire umpires, vampire chefs, vampire car mechanics, vampire doctors, vampire bankers.  Wait.  I think that last one is real.

I think that those in love with vampires and vampire mania should volunteer to have a big flourescent V tattooed on their foreheads, so the rest of us can know who to avoid in the day, and especially at night.

Seems these trends rely on the ever spongy young folks waiting on keeping up with trends to be original.  With little for or after sight, stuff like vampire slayers, ambiguous vampires, vampire counselors, vampire unions, and on and on; next to bloggers, hardy anything is more overdone and overwrought.

But vampire unions make perfectly good sence, since if you were a vampire astronomer, for instance, you would never want to be put on solar telescope duty.

Vampires do not need your blood.  They need a pacifier.

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