VIOLENCE AND SELF CONTROL

Being involved with family violence control puts me in an odd situation.

I have avoided physical fighting my whole life. Childhood became the most significant influence on this. My father had told me, and I took it as holy law, that you as a guy, do not strike women. I cannot say that my older sisters and I did not have shoving matches, but for me that would have been self defense. Our family dynamics was heavy on the mental sparing which can seem actually more devastating.

The physical violence in our house was later done, after my mothers death, by a step mother-guardian. She would not hesitate to hit, throw objects and threaten with knives. She sent my father to the hospital with a big gash across his forehead. I slept with the largest kitchen knife under my pillow as a self defense plan for a knife attack while I was asleep. She had hit me in the face while I was asleep, then locked me out in the snow in my pajamas. My father committed suicide not long after that.

Earlier I had incidences when someone seemed to be threatening my life as a freshman high school. I was literally about 100 lbs. and someone morbidly obese around 500 lbs, held me under water to near drowning during pool time in a crowded pool. He had done this more than once. It became so serious to me (swallowing-inhaling watter) that I thought I would have to take matters into my own hands. One more time, and I was going to put him in a headlock with my legs around his neck and hold him under until it meant something. I was a totally inhibited kid and did not trust authority to do anything but blame the victim. So I had to weigh in my mind, possibly causing someones death and being called and treated as a murderer.

As it turned out, he never did that again. But I was sure it would have been me to blame and I would have felt I had no options in my own self defense. No one seemed to notice him doing this during the pool commotion, so I believed no one would accept my story. It just never came through to experience. In physical confrontations during boyhood, I found I had to keep the potential for rage out of me, especially since I had no doubt that I would take down someone twice my size. It took someone quite a bit larger and older to overcome me. I was afraid of my rage and how if unleashed it would seem out of my control.

(As evidence that I am not just delusional about this strength proclamation. When it rained a lot during physical education, outdoor activities were called off and we were put into the gym, we freshmen and the sophomores, to have a thing called “bombardment”. This is where there are two sides chosen, a line across the middle of the gym, where the two sides throw rubber balls a little smaller than a soccer ball at each other. Out of about 150 students divided in two, little me was one of the last picked, last or second to last.

Well the first game I discovered that being in the lower 10% in size had me a bit afraid, so I hung back as many did. All it took was the guy next to you ducking and a ball out of nowhere taking you out, while leaving a big red mark somewhere. I decided to risk all and take it to the line next game.

You could see most of what was being thrown up front. I found out I could catch any-ones ball thrown at me, but no-one could hold onto mine. I was also very accurate. I won that game. The last guy standing. I was picked second of all players next game. The team first picking, picked his seeming best friend first, so I was first on the other team picked. The next game was the last. It oddly ended up being me the last standing on my team, and a very out of shape guy hiding and dodging in the corner on the other side when the period ran out. I could no longer throw fast enough to eliminate time for him to move. That is how little old me was as a skinny five feet two.)

TRUTH VS ADVICE

What I just said I cannot say to someone involved in family violence. As far as physical violence goes, I do not hit women. I have told ones who gave me any actual physical provocation that, “If you do that again, we are over!” I do not tolerate fighting, especially in the home relationships. I try to avoid physical confrontations with anyone. Now that I am a “senior citizen” I find you are not seen as a threat overall, or there is a kind of automatic respect. Most of that sense of being on guard is much diminished now. I take peace as my way and it path is most often open.

I have found that emotional abuse has prove a bit more difficult to not take part in, compared to a sense of law that one just never does such a thing. I grew up that way, making fun of someones mistake or being ridiculed. It is then a model of behavior I have had to contain and reverse. To do that requires a will and an understanding of the Golden Rule or Categorical Imperative. I need to establish the sense that not only does “what goes around comes around.”, but it is already damaging my life. Abusing others in any way is profoundly self abuse.

I need to see (learn to recognize) when I am treating another like I would not wish to be treated, and immediately review what my self respect or control problem really is. We are often given the information from another that we are on some kind of attack and they becoming defensive, or initiating their own retaliations.

Still, when expressing guidance to someone, it will often fall flat if it is preached or describes as something I am so above, and can’t understand how someone could do such a thing. That fits as a key with very few dysfunctional programs. I have to speak out of and through my own life, the love in your heart has to be in it, to be a gift expected to have a chance at being received.

PROGRESSIVE OR REACTIONARY

In some ways I have described political tactics and ways of manipulation. All manipulation is in some way an abuse of the truth. Its vibrational disturbance will not go unnoticed, except perhaps, by like minded dysfunction. The same situations and rationalizations that come to effect home life are used in the greater life of our world. Even if everyone does it, doesn’t make it right.

We will find manipulative arguments covered if various guises meant to hide their intention, and instead, be represented as your own interest. Fear and insecurity are great hiding places for manipulative interest. Optimistic vision can also be used as a trick to catch someones interest, then later prove to have been a ruse. We need to be both critically minded on the one hand, and have our heart held out open in the other. True adults can do this.

The upcoming election seems to be being based on fear and insecurity vs. hope and optimism, both of these being held as paramount in differing ways by the candidates. I am not saying that we are not justified in having these inclinations. What I am encouraging is the “true believers” and the doubtful to have their wits about them. As citizens and voters, it is up to us to determine the fact from fiction, the hidden agendas from the promises of safety and security. For power will seek to inject its corruptions into all areas of life if let be.

We each are freedom, love, and truths best and last hopes. Better to stand with understanding under their tall light, than the ignorance that festers in the shadows of misunderstanding.

CULTS, CREEDS, AND CONSENSUS REALITY

CULTS, CREEDS, AND CONSENSUS REALITY

Amazingly, I (we?) have not even known I was taking sides in things that were, as far as reality perception is concerned, problematic. I tended to have no idea that I was party to a conflict over interpretation, that I in effect inherited. If I do not truth check my “reality view” sources. I can be as wrong about things as the spell checker often notes.

Do I know why I side with the interest I do? Did dad harangue the opposite view, saturating me with it when I was too young to know; it was opinion backed by emotionalized association, and not the whole truth?

This is why we are to seek objective review of our environments; to not be led down paths of opinion we observe and assume are true. That is if we seek truth above misrepresentation in order to have an honest life.

What we call special interest have special reasons to limit our base of consideration. This is a natural self preservation strategy that places itself and those who identify with the sculpted consensus reality, beyond the scope of whole truth. Yet in their unaddmitted limitations, they are as sure of certainty as rain.

RAIN ON ME

We have an unprecedented opportunity to see blind bias in action, especially of political and religious ramblings, on the Web. With a certain anonymity, beliefs emerge that were usually taboo, particularly in the workplace, in order that work get done and employees and employers get home in one piece. Here I can put my pedantic or fallacious viewpoints and ignore reaction if I so chose. Safe, but how useful is it to preach to an assumed choir, while I just hear myself think in circles? Yet we face the made up closed mind if we seek contention with our opposites, where even if our facts are true and in a well placed and meaning context; they can be spit back at us as vile.

Speaking of circular reasoning as an essential ingredient of cult-think.

Most human debate is over, not what we do know, but what we suspect or presume of others, because of what they do or do not seem to let in to their misjudgements of the issues. We presume conflict over the implications of implied willful ignorance, it, seeming as misfeasance.

SAY WHAT?

A kind of nominalism takes hold in the language of “buzz” words or phrases, which proclaim a reality of their own by mere redefined consensus of opinion, from why knows where? Who needs to tie reality with its uncertain (at times unknowable) facts, when words shaping ideas can take on a tidy unchecked round world of their own. “You liberals”, is now a classic (says it all!) around the world in eleven letters.

My experience in a religious cult, demonstrated, at first shockingly so, how words are appropriated and given new, often private to the select group, connotations or whole definitions. (Most religions begin as a cult of someones or things character traits.) These tend to tightly control thought to a conserved overriding assumption. Adjusted at times by hierarchy if allowed, or stealthily by reinterpretation. Even behaviors and manners begin to show mimicry; all smiley faces for example, not that there is something wrong with real smiles.

To become a seeming true follow or believer then, applying these words and their associate concepts often serves to indoctrinate one into an altered world view, and much peer praise and bonding to the greater cause. These are what are blown across the world in their tidy bubbles of sealed off belief. In those bubbles, truth is fixed, words mean one thing, and we know who the other is.

CHANGING WORD MEANINGS ALTERS COMPREHENSION OF REALITY

It comes to be seen, that from that newly identified unenlightened force now presumably lurking in the larger culture, you begin to notice how shallow or even wrong their idea of the word and world is. I can then come to assume others have some lack of perception, or are blocked from knowing, yes, the truth! The Web as well as the highly biased “news” shows present much ad hominem belief as fact to their already biased in that direction audience. Who needs fact checking.

What I do not know can hurt me. Being naive about methods of mind manipulation is of benefit to many interest in the culture. If I am dumping used motor oil into a river as part of a business, I do not go around saying that part of the truth. I would tend to go around saying how important and responsible it is for you to have your oil changed. How important is is to you and your family to keep your car running as best as it can be for your own safety. We are trying to protect your car and family, definitely good guys. We drink water too you know.

Probably, I don’t wish to hear about the water issue. Might even get mad if someone brought it up, or look for some way to indite the issue itself, usually damning the messenger. (Commies trying to stop me from making a living, or liberal do gooders, why don’t they get a job instead of criticize. Move if you don’t like the water.)

WE HAVE TWO HANDS

We humans tend to be liberal about our own misgivings (giving them much sway room), and then, possibly because another points a finger at us, tighten our distrust of another even more so, becoming reactionary and antagonized about the misgivings of others about us. Those who brought into light something seeming to reflect ill on me, do seem to be attacking my self esteem. Some call this mirroring back; projection. A kind of self delusional exorcism, putting that devil into someone else, at least in our own minds certainty. Cognitive dissonance relieved.

{Now, this whole post is related to a buzz worded diatribes bubble I just read in my tags. (I have just created bubble as a potential buzz word. Oh, I think it already is one.) What I will call snickering about the “liberal media” (one companies) laid off workers could get a job on Hugo Chavez team. An understandable insult from one who understands blowing bubbles more than what moves in actual reality.}

WHAT IS FAIR ABOUT WHAT IS NOT WITH THE LEFT AND RIGHT?

The “left” of the political spectrum has been known by its mutual mistrust of other allegedly left groups not as interested in their issue as they would hope. Uniting organizations to coalesce into a united movement has been stymied by the lefts own, dominant in mind, individualistic pet issue dominance (my opinion). That is probably good and bad in some ways. The left tends to be made up of individuals who have a direct connection to the issue they raise, hence often volunteering their time and money to their cause. A thousand points of light may be at times more effective than a big out of control bonfire.

It seems to me that the right, though equally filled with mistrust, became united against their proclaimed common liberal enemy, that did seem to be everywhere; Government was trying to stop you from poisoning the common waters. Government was trying to help the sick and unfortunate by birth, bad decision or design. All this “interference” had to be labeled a poison itself, “The Welfare State.” Generalized welfare is to be bad. Makes for a weak nation. Now we can feel great about attacking that demon “Big Government”, that is out to ruin our nation.

A kind of contempt for actions on the part of the whole (except fear based ones) seems to have been transformed into a good, as if problems of large scale economic or other environmental and systemic origins are to be ignored. UNLESS THEY PARTICULARLY IMPACT A CONSERVATIVE OR CORPORATE INTEREST. Then they are called vital to our survival.

You want to survive don’t you? Money and propaganda pours in to affirm the poisonous nature of “tax and spend”. That apparently gleeful liberal mindset meant to bleed you dry. Oh, they have us in a good enough bind mentally and emotionally to divert our attention! And always around fear first, glowing abstractions to come, once liberalism is put down for good.

It seems some on the right are wiling to burn any liberal legacy of our nations previous hero’s sacrifice, as Bush said; “the Constitution is just a GD piece of paper” to solidify the security of the looming corporate welfare state. (Histories usual narrative of the wealthy and status entitled keeping their privilege at anyone and anything else’s expense.)

GOVERNMENT BAD

Government was to be framed as the source of the oppression you feel, (to unseat notions of public benefit) especially the delusion that common tax was the only thing that took your own will to survive out of your pocket. (Money as your status, real value and self respect.) The will of the people (that is democracy) to address issues relating to the common good of all, was to be poisoned from both the right, and eventually the seduced pulpit itself.

Words had to have their meanings changed, charged, tainted and effectively disabled from true consideration. No more commons for you, it was never there actually. You are to be abandoned to Gods will. If you have problems you are a sinner or looser. God, presumed to not want others to share your burden, nor help lift you up, not even care for you if sick. Your church, savings, insurance if you can afford it, or family is presumably your safety net, if you have one that is.

24/7/12/365 FEAR CARDS FOR YOU

Fear, however, effects each life at times. It is a powerful director of attention. And in the hands of the right wing of things, government was to be feared as a thief, and from some churches, as an agent acting against the will of God.

Now the doors are opened to exploitation and predation in the name of opportunity. President Eisenhower had seen how far this fear and paranoia industry had gone by the 50’s, and seemed to believe it endangered our very nations founding legacy. Little did we know that the information media, would itself align with its own big business interest first, public welfare, concern for the whole, last.

That whole economic trickle down theory puts one in proper perspective. The wealthy, if feeling generous, will hire you since they see they can make some money off of you at the moment, and let a little bit trickle into your cup. We are to praise and thank them. Just listen to all their commercials! They are only interested in bettering your life. But you never know the real long term cost to the whole for their operations.

ALL CREATION IS PARTITIONED AND FOR SALE

The right wing became the spreader of new meaning. Still it is seen everywhere. Unknowingly, bias can come along with the very acceptance of the framed notion. Individuals of great wealth set up the attack on what is called the Commons, as well as an educational infrastructure created to demonize all government as it applies to compassion, empathy and understanding, except in areas where those human “goods” could be used specifically to wedge people away from their broad definition.

Oddly, this attack on the media whose job should be liberal, wide open and not some one party’s line; which must then point out unresolved issues, societal incongruities and conflicts relating to privilege, pollution, global warming, suffering in the world and amidst our own poor etc… These were tagged as liberal bias. An evil thing that focuses on what is wrong.

By not focusing on what was not working for the whole system, those wrongs could be and were ignored, even blamed for their own existence. Remember hurricane Katrina victims? Troubled Iraq war veterans? All their own fault. Not our responsibility. Give me more tax cuts.

A legion of true believers in liberal bias of the media was sent out to seed the public with suspicion of anything that could be termed liberal. (I must note that liberals can be as one sided as anyone else at times.) In the current campaign it is still a poison pill of a sorts even for democrats. The implicit liberalism of Jesus Christ, and the Bill of Rights has been scaled back. In some Christian religious sectors, Christ love is for the “reborn”, to only apply to they who follow the right wing buzz word and wedge issue machine, all circularly codified as representing the good, and what is bad be damned.

HOW MONEY FORCES ISSUES ONE WAY OR ANOTHER

Years ago I had heard (a book documented the phenomenon) that some 80,000 had graduated from “conservative” schools explicitly to seek work in the media. It was no accident that in the lead up to the Iraq war; conservative “talking heads” outnumbered liberal ones more than 3 to 1. Were we really a nation designed to be fed bias as truth in matters of life and death? Is that what our nation stands for?

Is full and forthright truth, less important than cherry picked facts and loaded opinion masquerading as reality? If so, no one ever told me that is why we sacrifice the lives of our hero’s in war, to protect deception of elites above the whole truth. That would seem akin to treason. Yet some who worked in newsrooms claimed that the directive was to have at least two pro war talkers when any contrary one was there.

Is patriotism served by a mathematically loaded deception? Maybe in old warlord systems like Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. But the land of the free and home of the brave, also proudly the cowering conformist cult of the deceivers?

I HEARD IT! YOU SAID THE L WORD!

For many these days, just the mention of liberal, is now equated with taking from you and giving to the undeserving. It is a victory for powerful interest that can be said to take from you and give to themselves. That with the aid of their well funded “think tanks”, they have been able to frame the population at large into a biased corner. This seems to be their right, given they can afford to, and did so far, get away with it. This post will not be appearing much of anywhere, for instance. Nor many more well reasoned and documented ones I might add.

Now we come to that place where between media consolidation and corporate privilege over that of the individual American, we enter a time where the freedom to be able to think for oneself is itself at great jeopardy. If this trend persist, we will end up with the complete surrender of what was the United States of America.

The freedoms, rights and responsibilities will be instead, at the whim of the One World Corporation, a conglomerate of united companies who finally put an end to war, and instead, partition the worlds bounty amidst themselves and their sycophants. If those conservative interest do not unite to stop losses on destruction and competition, they will continue to attempt to destroy each other, leaving the world as collateral damage.

FASHION TRENDS IN WORLD DOMINATION

We are entirely capable of having the whole experiment in freedom and responsible democracy, atrophy until it resembles the era of the Pharaohs. There seems to be not much in the way of a completely fear based state for the worlds people, all dependent upon a new breed of masters.

Well, I do know of one thing that can stop the trend. No. Not UFOs. It is a secret weapon called Unconditional Love. The actual Power that manifest the universe. An Infuence which we are free to ignore, to our everlasting detriment. Odd, that we each have a Divine Power in our midst, which we too evidently seem to miss. One could even go so far to say, that heaven is at hand if we are willing to see it right there, in our hands.

THE X RAY: WHEN TRUTH TURNS NAKED

From one ex cult member to all those unknowing true believers in manipulated theory, believed to be proven fact; like the “liberal media” as an anti good thing, when I see your use of buzz notions as God given truths. I can see right through you. What really happened to your heart, your love?

TRUE HISTORY——NOT THE TILTED TYPE

WINNERS WRITE HISTORY

Something to that effect has been said. I have to challenge a predominating point of view to even think of that as being true. Truth can be institutionally hidden from view. In my life; challenging what I was raised to believe was off the boards, until one of them hit me in the face metaphorically speaking.

Well then. Suddenly truth seems different than what was believed. You thought what you believed was true. Now you are on your own. It was so easy to just be conservative, to just trust what you were told, perhaps what parent and preacher had professed as beyond question. Much less daunting than the apparent free for all of existentialism.

The competitive press seems addicted to never getting to the true heart of matters, the resulting insecurity focus is addictions best friend. I would like you to know that you were born with the truth and into it. Now it is up to each of us to find our ways back. In that sense truth is relative and cannot be known in the sense of imposing it on others. I can say that water boils at a certain temperature, period. But am I clear of connecting factors; is something in solution in the water and by the way what barometric pressure did you imply in your temperature number? And then what unknown unknowns are not known? Who knows? Claims to truth need to be both tempered, and left with an open view into the blackness.

Well, your atoms and molecules at least are on a mission. Life is asking you to stand up in your own integrity and figure the truth given right to you by it. Or do you believe the universe is actively trying to keep you in the dark? Rose, or myopic, or arrogantly elitist glasses might need be broken under your own foot to stand up to what life ask of you. This takes courage and strength, and something as a higher purpose. I will admit, I am not always up to this task myself. There is no fault in humility that still seeks to find self honesty. Without a sacred center (your vision of highest value, possibly beyond words to express), I can be irrationally lost in a cosmos of connection.

WE are both victim and hero in this regard; our hearts have been hurt likely along the way, we are protective and defensive of these wounds, with what seems like a pragmatic sense of separation from the full connections to others. Yet since whole truth is all inclusive, (such as including science and religion as part of one great thing,) we must somehow, and seek out those ways how to, bridge one heart to another.

Now let me posit an observation for you to put up my last statement; how much of the news is presented as a means to unconditional understanding? Is not much of it terror based; fires, accidents, criminals, terrorist, fear of terrorist, unsolvable need or threat? So much of what life offers to us all, while we stare at fears narrowly focused hourglass, is passing under the bridge in torrents of meaning. The sun, the grass and trees, a cloud, a fish and even the night stars; they too are you. How distant are they?