Unconditional Love: Under What Condition’s Is It Known?

Unconditional Love


Beyond my grasp?

This post is about the meaning in Life and where it is discovered.  The premise hinges on our quest for Love; to love Life and to be in love.  We do things for this grand attraction do we not?  To be of value in and to the world, to Life.  To have within our lives that deep belonging that seems beyond reproach; I am living for Love, to belong to this place of my life.

Love represents a connection beyond the self, whether to a higher self and Being, or to others and Life.  Love is then a kind of gravity, drawing elements of life together, to be without it is to see ones life come apart.  A kind of existential relativity ensues, where value is void, and I can make up whatever I want.  Life’s meaning becomes assembled in some respects to my conditions; I’m tired and upset, hungry and confused, lonely and yearning.  Bodily (and philosopjhical/emotional) value judgements become the boss of me. This observation seems true to me from my life and from my awareness of the lives of others.

Everyone actually wants this holy union with Life, God, or a loved one, called Unconditional Love, but we know we have our own conditions.  A long historical and experiential process can “make” one feel Love is never unconditional, and perhaps, seemingly used to punish us.  Love hurts, love can be lost, and loves joy of belonging can elicit extreme pain at disconnection.  Approach and avoidance can become a problematic issue for ones love.  We can even avoid talking about it as a kind of diversionary strategy from facing the issues love presents to us.

We then are cast into the position of bartering our affection and connection to our experience of our conditions; those people, processes and things of our lives. Unconditional Love may still exist in our lives, in the abstract or in some spiritual assumption, but it becomes a fraction of what it could be, for my awareness of it has become supplanted by what it seems not to be.  I adjust to conditions, conditioning my awareness to not see or assume there is Unconditional Love.

My paradigm, or overview of Life, then, may include something like this; some love for you if you are good and caring to me, and none  for you now if you are acting in ways I do not approve of (presume a background love is still exiting). There may be some relationships which we feel are indestructible due to the assumed full Love they contain. Sometimes this paradigms context is itself divided up again into categories of tolerance; affections I will leave open to reappear even when going wrong, and connections I will consider missing or nonexistent for those who seem too other, or beyond my sphere of consideration.


Many of us feel love from those who seem to have enduring interest towards us, or whom we have extreme empathy for, realizing I would wish to be cared for if I was in that condition.  When we find ourselves in radically altered conditions, a catastrophe of some sort, reality can be shaken up so much that we “see” what is of true value in our lives; our connections to Life and to others we share it with.  Loss can make me acutely aware of Love and its preeminent Presence.

This is a life cornerstone exposure, where the meaning of Life and Its value to us is starkly presented as opposed to material stuff.  A house may burn down, with all we strove so hard to acquire and be immersed in, but it will be the lives around us that stand out as the real meaning. This practical meaning for value in our lives was presumably covered over with stuff that seemed to adorn it, but ultimately proved inconsequential.

Notice how life in general, by watching the news, is heavily involved and revolved around stuff.  Many actions, reactions, conflicts and problems circulate around survival stress.  A stress that acts as an addiction to bury Unconditional Love, under what seems to be enormous piles of conditional stress.  This stress can promote kinds of creativity as well as creative manipulations of others to satisfy ones own presumed needs.  These needs can be then shrouded in absolute “goods” such as self and family, community and even nation.  All potential pivot points of manipulation into stress management and adaptation.

We can find ourselves surrounded by conditions that interfere with perception of Unconditional Love in the Now.  We can organize society, and particularly our own lives, around set-aside times when we look at our lives and say; there is some love, right there, it must be.  This is a far cry from our potentials, yet it is the “reality” we tend to adapt our lives to,  maybe sensing some Unconditional Love in the abstract if I promise to be good and honest on Sunday, or after an argument.  Coming home from the “dog eat dog world” to a home and family, can also seem to immerse one into that place where love is known, a kind of island in a sea; a sea sometimes attractive and sometimes stormy with conditional doubt.

Unconditional Love seems to require a new or fresh orientation towards Life.  Life is boring? How can that be?  Our condition is this amazing Universe with Its potential for us to love all that we can, and still conditions can be assumed to rule perception and render Life mute.  We can notice spiritual teachers like Jesus Christ, and many others, who seem to be ruled by Unconditional Love Itself, yet I may feel I am excluded from this perceptions because; state conditions…

What I am presenting here is; as obstructed as my perception of Unconditional Love around and for me may be, there are pathways to Its awareness.  No matter how my life is “going”, I can declare my union with Unconditional Love.  How?  By becoming aware that only I am the barrier to that awareness.

Pollyannish?  Utopian? Blissfully Ignorant? Naivé Delusional? Fantasy land? and on and on?  Really?

We have established the value of our connection to what gives Life Its deep meaning.  Now all I require is to see that deep meaning potentiated in all connections, into Life Itself.

Value found; Unconditional Love.  It does not depend upon conditions.  It is our condition to acknowledge.

If I am trying to avoid this acknowledgement, I may well be working to keep myself in the dark, being embarrassed, ashamed, or unsure to acknowledge my true capacity.  Now that condition is sad, yet perhaps widespread in the world.

Unconditional Love; no matter the situation, It is always knocking.

3 thoughts on “Unconditional Love: Under What Condition’s Is It Known?

  1. This is a very honest and beautiful essay. A very sensitive subject. Love. My views on love have been tainted for many years, yet there is the part in my soul which believes so strongly in unconditional love it pains me. More often than not the mind and ego play the leading role in life… love is a bystander… innocent and knowing with no intention, simply to exist in bliss, in love… to be love and in love is one… this is unconditional…

    I could speak on this subject with understanding, yet as I have stated it would be tainted… I simply believe in love, this unconditional love which you speak of. It is beautiful and self sacrificing… would not this life mean more of we all understood?

    Great essay Benafia

  2. Thanks for the comment Cordieb.

    Fear is the experience of some sense of a threat to love, often the sense of insecurity to what we love; our life, our friends and family, our things. Fear at its extreme can be said to be hate, or loves opposite. We build up experiential “proof” of our insecurity; obvious knowledge of peril to our existence. This library of seemingly practical knowledge can give us the story narratives as to how love is conditioned, abandoned and excluded.

    We always have death knocking at our door as well. The fact of death, known only for real at ones own, leaves cues of abandonment in our psyche’s mailbox. Relationships perish, by death or other kinds of emotional sacrifice.

    The comfortably rich and the stressed for survival poor share this one truth; destruction, or death of their material surrounds leaves we humans stripped to the core, thankful for our lives and those around us. All the once precious stuff is reduced to ash. Yet the inner Light held inside the human spirit illuminates what is of transcendent value.

    When fear is erased and the Heart of Life and Spirit is beheld, Love is what remains true. It was true all along. It is I who accepts or ejects otherwise.

  3. And, fear keeps us from answering that knock and opening that door. What’s the worst that can happen when we welcome a stranger knocking at our door….death. Perhaps only at our hour of death will we openly welcome unconditional love, free of all fear. But we certainly can practice it in life. Who knows, we might just overcome the fears.

    Great article. As always, PLL, C.

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