Lizard People break for Al Franken


In a stunning setback to Norm Coleman’s vote count, it has been discovered that the vast Lizard People demographic has gone solidly to Al Franken. That, or a fly seems to have been swatted over Al Franken, or said fly attempted to tamper with ballot when inserted into the vote recording machinery.

We will keep you informed of latest breaking news on this critical issue. Why are fly’s allowed into the voting process? Inquiring minds are mystified.


Fake aides for Al Franken denounced our insinuation that lounge lizards or Lizard People are actually for their candidate.

They suggest that we think for a second; What do Lizards eat? Flies! Hello!

These uninformed sources claim that it was a fly voting for Al Franken in desperation of disqualifying an obvious vote for Lizard People. They suggest that the fly may well have been a Norm Coleman supporter, who is applying reverse psychology, making it seem as if Lizard People are for Franken.

Equally fake sources from the Norm Coleman campaign stated that the reverse psychology idea of the fake Franken supporters is itself reverse psychology. These people state that the fly likely just took aim at the nearest oval which happened to be Al Franken. They said a fly sees with hundreds of eyes, and just had to zero in on one without any attempt at reverse psychological intentions.

In fact. These phony sources claim that the whole reverse psychology notion is put out by the fake Franken campaign in case they lose the recount. They can then claim that the intention of a defeat was actually to vote for them!

Our Lizard People sources say that Lizard People are People who have every right to vote. They suggest that this whole fake issue is beginning to smell a whole lot like a plot by Flies to denigrate democracy and insert a rotten totalitarian state.



Sources close to our fake news contacts have informed us of a new development affecting Lizard People.

It has come to our attention, that all the markings on this ballot have been determined to be flies.  It is now widely believed that this is indeed a Fly conspiracy.

It is now apparent that sacrificial Flies are out to demean Lizard People, making it seem as if Lizard People do not know how to vote for themselves.

In response to this new development, we at Lizard People Times would call on all Lizard People to come to the aid of their country. We must stop the vast Fly conspiracy attempting to turn the nation against Lizard People, as well as those who seem like Lizard People.

Once Lizard People are condemned, who will be next?

Let the words “buzz kill” go out across this great land!




Obama’s appointments to his Cabinet and transition team are being read as tea leaves to predict the future.

On the left, or some of the left, the president elects grace period’s clock has already run out; Too many Clintonites; too many Establishment foreign policy conservatives; just too many betrayals.

But what has been betrayed? For what exactly was promised?

I am not dismissing criticism of the players involved, including Barack Obama. We have yet to see his actual policies in action, except perhaps for one; INCLUSION.

It my well be that some on the left were hoping for a secret revolutionary. Barack may well be one, but not the kind the left or the right would prefer, for he may well be a revolutionary of One America, and not the Culture War sided one. What would a unity kind of administration actually look like? We may be witnessing its creation right before our eyes. We just need to look past the conflict orientation endemic to a media driven by proclamations or red or blue, black or white, and no union between.

Would it be wise of the 44 president of the United Sates of America to fill his administration with left wing ideologues with their own sense of perfection and perfect order being, let’s say, quite arguable in practicality? Would it be best for this next president to not have those on board familiar with even polices in which he disagrees? Or do I wish to have someone like the last one?

How about having those included who assembled the current mess use their know how to dismantle it, and then succeed at one that works for all of America? Is it true that when you have proved yourself good at baking a pie for me, you might not bake one for someone else just as well? As it seemed, the current administration got its way on just about everything. It would be nice if the new one could undo the damage successfully as well. (I know. Such abstract notions as my implied “efficiency” can be tweaked in any direction as an allegorical “truth”. I’m just proposing a what if as a consideration, instead of an absolute certitude in some minds of Obama’s change being not in the promised direction.)

Barack Obama promised some things the left grabbed on to eagerly. He also had his own moderate forms of credentials, prominent of which was representing all of We the People. How certain are we as of yet, that he is not keeping that promise kept throughout the campaign?

Barack Obama’s base may have always included those who knew of his intention of inclusion. To deny that, seems tantamount to denying Obama’s own view established in his own words. Instead. Inserting ones own.

Let us see what president Obama actually does with whom he has brought into the mix. With our many national and international issues, chiseled in stone judgement of falsity seems quite premature.