CLOUDS FADE AWAY; a short life reflection while moon walking

(Well short as far as a life is concerned)

Planes flew over my house as a kid. They roared in on their way to Midway Airport. My father had flown in World War Two, actually shooting other guys down, but to me, those up in the sky perspectives were unfathomable memories. I had nothing to look to but my imagination of flight. I would never fly. That was for people with money, much more than we or I would ever seem to have. And then they crash, just miles away, into homes and children. Planes seemed like a risk, a haunting you would have to release to get on board one.

But I would day dream and seem to float up between towering cumulus clouds. Then there were the cumulonimbus. I knew they would seem more dangerous with lightning and all. How would the air be around those cauliflower sculptures and anvil scratched heaven? Tens of thousands of feet high, and you could still see them bubble up. How would I stay just ahead, flying kinda like superman? Could I safely touch the growing edge?

Then came the space flights, the landing on the moon. You had to be there. No, not on the moon, but in front of the TV, there in space, then later on the moon. By the moon landings I was just a teenager, but I knew from school, and watching the planes come over to and from Midway, that dreams were coming in fast. It seemed that when we, we humans, set our minds on a goal, we can reel it in. It was us, and not just those few actually leaving footprints in cosmic dust.

With my parents long dead by then, I had no path apparent to dream fulfillment. I was crushed by my school experience and its seeming smothering of the free human spirit. I had these dreams of possibility as all that kept me going, that I would survive to be present for where I fit in. Serious dental issues kept me out of any public eye, including most friends. Nights were often times of throbbing pain and next to no sleep. My hand covered my mouth to keep others from seeing cavities and missing teeth, but it seemed to eventually stop my words as well. I too, seemed to be blocking my way into the future.

Yet there was what could be, and could become of me. I worked at times 36 hours straight in below freezing (usually below 0) weather on an open truck dock at the airport, only to have my whole check taken by the guardian. I rode the bike since she gave my car to a son of hers (she consigned, I had already paid it off). Then from work, I take my broken (1 pedal) bike on its 25 mile trip to community college. Once I walked the ten miles home on Sunday early AM after work with an arm load of books, no hat or gloves, over frozen slush in a windy 9 degree night–7hrs. What dreams I had, were had with the longest kitchen knife under my pillow, in case a death threat was carried out. I wanted at least that advantage.


I suspect this kind of story is not unheard of in America, but one thing is clear, conservatives do nothing about it, but list platitudes and parade around to abstractions in their detached from the whole, psychic illness. Values voters indeed. They actually vote from a hidden shame, which needs releasing just as fear of flying does. That is, if one actually is for engaging the interest of all life. The present moment tells a tale of all that is, yet for some, their security is all that matters.

{I often critique conservatism because it applies an unchecked bias to the present moment, to now. I am for learning from history, as well as preserving much of the earths viable cultural traditions that do not force their bias onto now. Why come down on an ideological perspective then? The present moment is where the matrices of existence, not only interact, but adapt. Conservatism tends to actually oppose Creations ongoing truthful manifestation right now, and what it takes as being a apart of it, to comprehend what we can, in a constantly adapting environment.

That avoidance to change constitutes a disservice to knowing and being present in our entirety. It results in inevitable decay. Why I call conservatism, as it is now promoted in the economic and sociopolitical realms; The Dry Rot of Civilization. Not to be mean or talking down to others, but to express a warning of a reactionary ideological prejudice that threatens life as we know it. For conservatives, many of them, need no reality check, nor take anything contravening into their equations of judgement.

To discover this bias for oneself, just listen to conservatism lack of self observation and perspective, its truncating of context to suit self promoting abstraction, as well as an endless supply of “fire wall” denigrations attached to those who say change is a necessity, that the ills of society and the environment require more than denial of responsibility, or otherwise punishment for those who do not fit into conservatism’s applied world view.

It is why on 9-11-01 , to avoid any looking into US historical actions in the regions from the Mideast to Afghanistan, it was said; “There is nothing to understand!” . Searching for the very Truth itself was deemed being on the “them’s” terror side. Yet then, “we” side with the darkness of ignorance and reaction incarnate. We naturally, then, spiral down the dark alleys of deception and denial, with a self hit list of high minded abstract platitudes as cover for our violation of now.

For also at 9-11-01, was a worldwide union sensed, with its outpouring of love to the US, and the will to be marshaled to address the very context that sustains these other aberrant conservatives of another culture, who are manipulated down their own dark alleys, to consider innocence non existent in others, and something worth denying in Gods name. Instead of understanding, the power’s that be sought their own “security” promoting ignorance and misconception over factual realities.

Since the universe does not sustain deception indefinitely, just as dry rotted wood can look sound, but have deception lurking right below the surface. Conservatism has self destruction built into its very premise, which denies now its intrinsic right to be. Just as blindness is fundamentally its guide, conservatism sustains itself by a seduction to a simplistic interpretation of now, and that attracts a laziness of mind and heart seemingly comfortable, but deadening in its soul. It is separation and alienation based, promoting “us and them’s”. Lending its followers to favor force, imposition and destruction over the courage to love life freely, serving a creatively vibrant and all encompassing Creation.}

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Conservatism’s Curse Of Perspective On Cause And Effect

They become fear based, presenting various wars as the answer to all problems, for they are unable to accommodate true causal solutions, then they would have to be held accountable, by conscience, to their own complicity. So they campaign on projecting accountabilities to society’s ills. Crime ( ex. “war on drugs”) and terror, and other faults alleged of others are used as diversion toward causality, then their seductive glowing generalities and abstractions are posed as cover for their inability to look truth in the eyes. So its substitute, belief, gives them faith through their inherent uncertainty. It is ignorance that becomes the conservatives primary cover.

This one thing is sure; conservatives do not accept responsibility for their actions. They hide behind their wall of so called values and morals as diversions from their own shame of not being truly present now. And so, unlike how liberalism seeks to address issues in context, to effect the substance behind acts, conservatism dissects from the Whole, then targets blame. They are surface based actually, but think the opposite, in their baby blanket like comfort zone of detached from reality abstractions. Those judgements make them unable to accept reality, and so, wish fulfilling fantasies of god-like control are what they have to resort to…

Mind Control Games

Conservatism is at its heart; pretense.  It then requires a manifold approach to diverting objective based critical thinking, by substituting rationalization as true reason.  We can detect this by conservatism use of Thought-terminating clichéd; buzz words and phrased that turn their followers immediately away from considering an issue.  These buzz worded conceptions are often loaded with shame and blame based characterisations, designed to shame and ostracize “The Other”, those you assume are not like you, and not in a good way.

Confirmation Bias

Confirmation Bias is a mainstay of buttressing conservative rationalizations.  Conservative news sources tend to be filled with Circular Reasoning logical loops; where the premise becomes its own proof by assumption and its pre-existing bias.  These confirm an Appearance Reality; how things seem to the logical matrix.  This establishes an ongoing Consensus Reality, where premise is not questioned but believed by a group to be true.  this creates conservatism’s confidence in the minds of its followers, to the extent that things like the global warming driving climate change can be denied, even to the extent of demeaning the Climate Theory as irrelevant.  An astounding denial of what is objectively undeniable human impact upon the planet.

Then comes existential relativism; where conservatism’s bias is projected out to all other fact and theory.  You say the earth is round, I say it is flat and I have proof; just look out your window.  The earth circles the sun you say?  Ridiculous speculation.  I believe my own eyes, ot you theory.  I believe in facts and not theory!  It is that easy!  Conservatism, which we all have likely in our own ways, just as liberalism, can reverse reality by its definition of reality, while liberalism is ostensibly reality based and open to adjustment through understanding.  A common human issue has become externalized into a battle over the turf of the earth and of human minds.

The Consequence

What conservatism has lost at its heart, is how desire and discovery open the pathway to a dream, a dream even as far fetched as reaching to the moon. I stood outside looking at this moon of ours, thinking our flag was there now, seemingly to stay forever in a peculiar motionless sterility, no matter what changes here, oddly like conservatism. It reminded me now of an idea of life which refuses to change. I tried to feel the presence of our beating hearts and open eyes in 1969. Mine looking up at, not just the moon, but the eyes of men on the moon. I was there too in a very basic sense, that the moon was now something that humans could do. A more obvious personal connection to it now that ever before, as if a mystery had been uncovered and potentials for reality set free. Thee is still, as always, the wondrous mystery of being.


Yet back just a few years earlier, the TV show “The Honeymooners” main husband character, played by Jackie Gleason, would say; ‘To the moon Alice, too the moon!’ in a teasing horror of a joke. He meant punch her that high, to the moon. It was absurd, for we would never actually get anyone, not even Alice anywhere near the moon for generations. Yet there we were already, and kids like me, we watched every launch. We saw what fire could do, not only consume, but fire you into space. It seemed we would now never look back. The Space Race now belonged to the human race. We were leaving our earth shell behind and emerging as a space faring civilization. This all seemed as immanent as that Honeymooners impossibility becoming true right in our living rooms.

From the movie and the TV screens, science fiction shows projected notions of what we would be doing, logically, even conservatively, as this exponential space exploration blossomed ahead of reality. The show Space 1999, and the movie, 2001, a Space Odyssey, put these soon to be realities where they would safely seem appropriate. We all, more or less, found their speculations, not absurd as “Too the moon Alice!” was, but instead, food for thought. In the 1960’s, with Star Trek on TV, and the on-going Space Race, I figured by the time I was 40, surely there would be individual independent flight. I imagine that we would lift up from or back yards, and be controlled by mechanical intelligence as on Star Trek. I would finally, in a manner of minutes, find myself from the back yard, up at the clouds edge, following my dream.

As it has turned out, we invested in the Space Race, not exactly for all the spin off technological advances that we take for granted today, but to keep ahead of the other guy whom we feared. With enough fear, we as a “free” people, seem to recognize that resources and desire must be pooled into one direction, and not have 10,000 people all reinventing the wheel at the same time. The waste of the laissez faire system would just leave us swimming in a whirlpool, not ever knowing as a people, which way to go right now, under this impulse to achieve. And so as sensible people do under common challenge, we pooled our dreams and creativity with our resources, and made discovery happen.

The story becomes stalled after these dreams evaporated. The arguments became these we are so familiar with. ‘Down with big government. Private initiative does things better. The government is Satan. Drown government in the bathtub. Just say no to taxes’…, but over and over, like a prayer to an absurd privatized god, who does not know better than support only individual dreams, and not those of a society itself. We entered this realm, where the wealthy and powerful tell us to be small and think small, cause we are all in this for ourselves. To think big, you join them. It’s all up to you…


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Now away with you. If I do not make money off of you, you are nothing to me, why need I concern myself with your issues, except when I might need a vote come elections? I will create a liberal monster to blame for society’s ills, while every tax cut puts more money, not to keep in your pocket, but my own. With a monster, children huddled under the covers can be fooled of many things. Luckily, religion is instituted on trust and belief. We will easily steer those in this faith based modality, to trust us if we employ their abstraction’s as our own. Who claims to be their monster fighters after all! We will in time morph these into a philosophy, where good is us and bad is them. Since these kinds reality check is up in the air so to speak, critically impaired, this control can be achieved at their own hand.

We will keep common efforts to what I fear, and what I need you to fear. These too will be hammered into consciousness come elections. They will provide might makes right as the desired answer and response to problems I perceive. If I feel threatened enough over other issues, I will then promote them as well, but only if I get a stake in the pyramid schemes income flow afterwards. I cannot abide liberals getting any of this, so we will tag them with both sin and misguided sincerity. If a new portal of democratic news becomes available, I must contain it. This will be done stealthily if need be. (It is being done, in some places liberal sites become inaccessible=censorship of idea)

The beauty of the impersonal-ism of the WEB is, one will not now why someone or some group simply disappears from view. As usual, we will likely use the cover of some “bad” to undo the public will and leave my own. As the Nazis knew, there is no problem in making someone out to be a problem to be eliminated in the public interest. Ah, the beauty of corporatism. Companies will do their own censorship for the benefit of themselves via the corporation, than that of the individual citizen. Once we finally get the individual to be branded by corporate product and thus philosophy, they will “naturally” see things mostly our way. Eventually we will commandeer that more liberal party as well. With superior access to minds across the boards, we can keep the debates turned into the areas we need them to be of our own survival. Submission is just a matter of time now…


Arctic Sea Ice Reaches Lowest Coverage for 2008

Arctic sea ice coverage appears to have reached its lowest extent for the year and the second-lowest amount recorded since the dawn of the satellite era, according to observations from the NASA-supported National Snow and Ice Data Center at the University of Colorado in Boulder.
Artist concept of Arctic ice

Credit: NASA/Goddard Space Flight Center Scientific Visualization Studio; Blue Marble Next Generation data courtesy Reto Stockli (NASA/GSFC)


And that is some of the way in which we end up with a planet tottering on suicidal competitions global warming catastrophe and extinction event. We are divided against ourselves with an emotionalized “culture war” and demonized “others” opposition, which is really a diversion of public consciousness from what matters to endless opinion mongering, with its ad-hominem truncated reasoning ability. Our political parties now provide the necessary impotence to keep the corporate ideology in charge, while public voting now mostly addresses the damage left in its wake. Finger pointing across the aisles keep the public, who cares that is, enamored with tabloid issues and propaganda hype. This is the actual politics of smoke and mirrors combined with a shell game come elections.

So the young boy who began this article, feels the effects of age and fallen dreams of human possibility. I put these notes into unlikely post bottles. They float to satellites as I thought I would surely be doing by 16 years ago. My childhood imagination then, was inspired by what I had seen. I have seen much since then, how certain political interest, interested in guaranteeing their own superior lifestyles, could and did manipulate the system to become their own system. It was only interested in a dream of self centered achievement, with its illusory dissections from the whole of life. These self achievers dreams, they made them money and that prestige status is in constant lust of. We have all been reduced to both fear, and that other now common denominator of survival. Getting money or doing without, since “losers” need not be thought of humanely.

It has been an odd ride for sure, as the moon swings overhead in silent watch. Dreams cheapened to the profiteering spirit, and not that of knowledge, possibility, creativity and capability in unbreakable continuity of cause. In fundamentally significant respects, we have each been reduced to an us versus all of them, then, when scared to death, told the us is much greater, so do not question destruction.

We in the US now keep our dream seeking lifestyle, thanks not to entrepreneurs exactly, but to the sad individuals situation over much of China. They suffer and sweat for our thus artificially reduced prices, and remaining abilities to buy what we need to survive while pushing the environments past breaking points. Many other nations, called the “third world” (what a delusional separation complex that all is), have likewise, done this slavery for us in the past and present. Those other interest are invisible, but desirable to exist for the rich, whom wealth seems to have divorced love from as far as humanity is concerned. Even in places here in our nation; two adults working minimum wage in one household with a couple kids, can not support the basic necessities for survival. “The basics of the economy are fine”, one delusional conservatives response.

We are being reduced by someone else’s delusional “self made” or silver spooned dreams, that constitute our emerging nightmares and worry. This too, we can thank the separated and isolated from consequence delusional self achievers for, as well as the evaporation of freedom and democracy right before our often closed eyes. This is what today’s conservatism has reduced society to. We are now a culture of immature beings, seemingly kept in a larval state. Amazing to observed the extreme basic childish naiveté of conservatism’s constant whine. It is now as if our eyes are closed for us by the screech, that we not accept nor admit, the consequence of our own actions, and by inference, the consequence of the actions of those whose lives we now live in service to. Humankind is in many ways self deceived into a circus of accusation and blame. the individual, not seemingly required to do much but make sure they have an income to make it.

When flying on commercial jets, I look out at the clouds. And when we must fly through towering cumulus fields, I am that dream of my youth, just slightly stretched. I imagine I am where I once expected, not free exactly, but by necessity. Still it is a privilege for me. Yet now the way it is, even dreams must be questioned for their carbon footprint, even in the clouds or up on earths satellite. We must live consciously, and not lured into anaesthetic living, with antiseptic dreams and an artificial heart. I must discover, what an organic being is on a planet based on living systems, and the requirements for us to live in health in this context. In the end, this choice comes down to one point of self orientation.

I still take photo’s of clouds to this day. They at least remain free, they are right in their place, not being deceived or mislead by other clouds or belief. In this purity of expression, they portray what is. Though they may be turning away, I follow them to the horizon…

If we look to the truth, not the abstraction we argue about, but the reality of Beingness, we find we are all in One Place. There is no true, completely personal perspective, unless it is in immersion with the All that is. I will not quantify that All here with an image based name as if It were an object. It is the Process of Life in reality. The words most near It are Absolute Love. No ifs, ands or act this way first about It. It deserves capital letters simply by being the One and Only real Truth Aspect.

No matter how lost I am in my imagination of how things should be, or I want them to be, It presides over reality. In my wanderings away into doubt or despair, yes, even the aloneness of my own consciousness, It is there with and in me, as in you and all things. We each are a unique quality of It, and where do I see this Divine Union in your expression? We, in effect, all owe that perspective to one another. It is this Essence of Being that I and you and everyone and thing else actually is. Those narratives we carry to blame someone or thing else for how the universe seems to me, those are actually inventions of a distracted being, blaming our drunkenness of imagination on that crooked path we see.

These human problems that plague us, and all our beliefs in conflict, they are the evidence of a lost state, a state where Love is not first and foremost, a state where any number of diversions command the attention of the I that I am. In these things, it is my own choice, a choice of claiming to know more and better than Life Itself. Here is where personal dissonance becomes the very choice of my own orientation in Life, and that price paid is in not knowing unconditional Love.

Whether I look toward that Center that centers us all in the infallibility of pure unconditional Love, or sure of Its apparent absence, go on to rearrange things for myself. Reality, it seems, is a one way street. It becomes my charge when under stress or otherwise, to see which way the light of understanding cast its sights, then chose to go against even my own disgruntled background. Love may actually be the easiest and most rewarding Thing in this world, but It takes personal fortitude to chose It, over righteous indignation. There, the life with Love begins, and cannot be extinguished.