Yesterday we completed our official stretch of meetings with one individual in the court system over family violence. Both he and a family member were quite expressive of all they thanked each of us for, involving our meetings with them. There is no doubt in my mind that this individual has more tools to understanding himself and not resorting to violence. In fact, this person could become a good member of our intervention group.
In our treat the symptoms after they cause trouble based culture, many men and women like this one will be not equipped with what they need in relationships. Because of reactionary conservative punishment of dysfunction instead of treating the whole of its actual cause; society will be called again and again to pay for the courts, and often the damage and the long term possible incarceration and ruination of a family. Which may well then produce more dysfunctional members, who we will then go on to place the sole responsibility for the manifestation of dysfunction, or a lack of preparation endowment to handle the stress points in relationships. The best way to keep those “sins of the fathers” going like that bunny rabbit.
Most conservatism is fear and or “other” based, so it is out to punish what it doesn’t like no matter how responsible it itself is for the dysfunctions manifestation. This is seductive to such a world view; the conservative premise needs the “bad” or “evil” to validate itself and its tough stance. All who are fearful and would rather not go into their own inner fears are easily seduced by the control the object seduction of might makes right. The quick fix. Those who believe society and all life is interconnected and interrelated, know even dysfunction is a product of some sort of systems failure. We are not inherently evil. We all seek love and to love.
The reactionary based paradigm claims to do stuff-force about dysfunctions, but usually does nothing about their causes. It believes force is the answer unto itself, this is primitive predator think. It is why conservatives love to have constant enemies in the world and inside the society, to perpetuate their actual lack of address of illness, while claiming to represent the cure. A seductive cult like cycle of deception.
Collaborative models have a different paradigm, one based on both spiritual and scientific perception. We do not exist as individuals in a vacuum, no matter how much individualistic assumptions try to create the impression that we do. We see how conservatives try to avoid, in general, this larger responsibility to the commons or the universal collaborative environments. Many off them have been seduced into denying global warming, pollution, and societal accountability and responsibility to address the cause of apparent dysfunction. It is as if they pursue a kind of lobotomy of the soul, where individuals rendered stupid, not only follow leaders consciously or not, but are left in an inherently alienate state where various predatory interest can feed of the populations ignorance and keep them in denial.
The proof to the collaborative models are in the results. I just witnessed them.
We went from an individual whose in-law called the authorities on, to one where that individual is in a collaborative agreement at home with a daughter to bring joy into the home, and whose very in-law who brought in the court and justice system to protect here own daughter and grandchildren, now loves to spend time with the “perpetrator”. We never call dysfunctional individuals in these family dynamics perpetrators. It is an important distinction. Yes society mandates that this person comes to our meetings and pay a monetary fee, which for some here is quite a hardship. But we are for family values! We have the interest in the whole family and then the community at heart. We desire to heal the dysfunction, not to punish it, or claim a bandage fixes an infection.
I encourage anyone to become a part of the solution. We all benefit from the healing of these illnesses based primarily in emotional illnesses that are perpetuated by the enforcing of ignorance on the individual and the culture. We are the answer we have been waiting for. You are the solution.