This page may by nature propose more challenging impressions for you, for the experience certainly did for me.

As with living in the black neighborhood, living in this environment; me being in the reverse of the “Threes Company” pretext, meaning I was the “straight” one, was both freeing and challenging for my identity, particularly my lack of intimate connections with a partner for me, for these were women oriented women.

I have never gone into bars on my own. At times lived at them with my father, but when going to a women’s bar, I was the outsider, invisible to all but my friends. But I must tell you, the few times I was invited to go with them on such an outing, once someone kept sending drinks to me! That was a mystery.

Being a male in a context of non sexual connections for me, I was able to relax with women in an unusual way. Not having that male “get real close” program going for me all the time. A small time version of the Quakers(?)

We engaged in projects during a time and place of severe recession economically. We also went off on big adventures across the US to find work, and once to “homestead” on one of their grandmothers derelict farm in Oklahoma. Unfortunately during a severe drought. There was a half acre lake on the property, but it had regressed into an unprecedented mud hole.

At this period in the early 80’s I had a work of art on mine (my first one but not last on a salvaged canvas) my second painting ever, became one of 50 chosen from 3,500 entered by the public into an art competition judged by several Hugo and Nebula award winning fiction writers. That is the only such art competition I have entered. Had a painting of mine stolen from the house we were living in. It was the only thing we knew of that was missing. I guess that was a good sign?

I also became a frequent article contributor to the areas “new age” newspaper. Made unique furniture (pegs as connectors, no nails) and a one of a kind camper for my pick-up truck, that even had a fenced deck over the cab. Some of us were to live in that truck for months traveling. One of the women and I made some room divider screens that sold extraordinarily well for the state of the local economy at the time. I went on to design those with interchangeable panels, change out fabrics, unique pins for panel pivoting. I envisioned a whole line of screens where you could quickly change out the centers for a new look; the 4 season’s, things like that.

I also began to attend a religious group there on my own, in search for a broader connection to universal meaning that I thought others must be searching for as well. I was to become a part of this group, a “farm manager” and speaker for it over a few year period. I look back at that semi communal experience as a wonderful way to live.

The trouble with most such intentional communities are; the right balance between individual interest and those of the group purpose. Along with hierarchy or consensus systems. I did find that meeting weekly at certain times seems an essential part of knitting the diverse individual elements we each bring, with a common sense of purpose. I would recomend that couples of any kind would benefit from regular meetings like that. Instead of just hoping that nothing is being ignored or left to fester in silence. Oops. I digressed far from this pages intent.

I am proud to say that over the years, two of the women ( who had beena couple but no longer were) had gotten a letter to me, each on their own; wondering if I could somehow be back in their lives again. That means a lot to me. The common purpose we shared was a kind of outsider slant on life in America. I share perceptions and observations of many of those who have found themselves on the outside of the “mainstream”, throwing our fishing lines out to the world to see what we hook up with. It is a life of non conformity, which comes at a certain cost, but brings with it a one of a kind life that I could not imagine not having had.

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